Potty trained

It’s official!! You are potty-trained!!!


Can’t even tell you how proud I am. It’s been 2 weeks, and no accidents, at school nor at home. Even better, now you nap without a diaper, and 2 nights ago you woke up and told me you needed to pee, so we went, and the next morning your diaper was dry! And last night you slept and didn’t wake up, and this morning it was dry again!! Incredible!!!

Not even 2 and a half! I feel as proud as a peacock. This was really easy with you, hats off, my baby!

After a few days making scenes because you didn’t want to go to Bubble school, these last 2 days were ok, and you didn’t cry. You have been a good boy for over a week now, which is a new record. You are super sweet and I love you to death. You are growing so quickly, we found you putting a box on top of a chair and try to get on it to reach the top of the dresser. You get the concept of sticking 2 objects on top of each other to increase height.

You’ve been hiding little objects (Elfy, the Fa lala book, my cooking thermometer, and some toys) in one of the bathroom drawers.

Yesterday you kept saying “I wanna be a fireman! and pssssshhhhhh (spraying sound)!”.

When we tell you that Santa won;t bring you gifts if you are a bad boy, you start shouting “I’m a good boy, I’m a good boy!!”

Little things, fascinating little things make our days fun, interesting, and we are so amazed by you.

Oh yeah! Yesterday you started doing Kung Fu. You are also pretty good with your moves! I must take a video of you doing it, it’s totally worth it!

Nanna time now, mama is coming!!

Love you,




And like always, they are gone. Right when they were almost becoming part of our routine, and we were getting used to have them in our house. For nonno, this was the first time here at our place, and despite the first 2 days (they were hard), then he settled in ok, or at least he looked like he did. Nonna is always the same, always trying to help out. We could;t have the great time we were hoping for, because of the weather, but we still managed a very good Thanksgiving and a great seafood dinner at South Port.

And, hear hear…! That week we took off diaper during day time, and even in the car. And even with a diaper on, you will tell us you need to pee and won’t wet the diaper.

Distance. I feel so torn. As soon as they arrive I feel overwhelmed and could;t even imagine going back to Italy, and be close. But then… when they leave, I always cry, it just happens, I don;t know why. They are still my family, and I wish we could find a compromise and be closer than thousands of miles away.


Thank you

Dear Tristan, what would I do without you? In days like today, I can’t say nothing but a big big thank you!

I was down, emotional, disappointed. After the miscarriage, this second baby is still not happening. I think psychologically I’m scared to death. Of another miscarriage, of a difficult pregnancy, of another recovery, and of another baby, with no help whatsoever. I think of how hard it is now sometimes, and wonder how we’ll manage. I know we’re not the only ones, and that it will be fine, but I worry about us, about us being happy as a family. Og you being jealous. Of dad been put aside. Of me being exhausted, and crabby, and of letting myself go.

But days like today, it just makes me sad not being able to have all that all over again.

And, at the same time, I don;t need anything else, you are so enough. You fill my heart and you couldn’t be more perfect. just like that. And that makes me want to give you a baby brother or sister, so you can have someone to play with, not having anybody. Somebody to be a good example for, somebody who can look up to you, somebody to protect and to show off.

Today you were good all day. No whining, no tantrums, very affectionate, funny, sweet, obedient, cool, smart, chitchatty.

You woke up early and woke me up with a sweet “wake up mammy, get up!”. Breakfast. Grocery shopping with me, and you helped putting things on the counter and use the credit card. Back home to hang out, you were tired, we cooked and ate pasta. Potty! It’s been 7 days since you’ve used the potty consistently at home, you still pee in the diaper if you have it on, but no major accidents. And when you use the potty, you are just hilarious: you hold the sink with one hand, and my shoulder with the other, then really get into it and look like a woman in labor in the pushing phase. It’s impossible to stay serious.

Then nap time, and it was quite easy. You woke up early and just came knocking on the back door where we were just sitting down. Watched Oddbods, then we went to the park wth your tricycle, saw a bunch of iguanas and ran after them. Walked all the way back on my shoulders, while you were intentionally letting yourself go backwards so it was super hard for me not to let you fall. Went and swam in the neighbours’ pool, and you jumped in the water with the angry jump, the nanna jump, the do-up do-do-up.. do do do doo-up jump, the backward jump. You were having a blast. Came back and let me give you a shower!!! Lately you are terrorised of getting in the tub, and we have no idea why.  So that was a nice surprise! Then hanged a little waiting for dinner, dinner was great and you ate super well, then play the monster game where you pretend to be a monster and scare me or daddy. The play with magnetic tiles, and drew a few happy faces and monsters with 3 eyes. You can definitely draw a face: a circle, then 2 eyes, a mouth, but tonight you pushed it to 2 ears and a nose as well!

Then bed time, read a few stories and you fell asleep on my legs like you are lately doing every night. Not that I mind, not at all. Today you were a mommy’s boy but also super cool with dad. You were just adorable all day long for both of us. And you made my day get better, and me happy.

You are my wonder. A wonderful, wonderful child.

Love you to pieces.


Terrible Two

You hear about them, you read about them, you are scared of them, you are skeptical. You wonder when it’s going to happen. Maybe it won’t. And then, they hit you. The Terrible twos. The exist, oh they surely do.

Drama scenes that not even the Queen of England would dare make. Tantrums out of the blue that we are wondering if there is any craziness in either of our families. Chance of moods that not even grandmas during menopause. Amazing. Every single night, same story, same scene. Same result, same end. I pick you up and everything is wonderful, I give you a snack. Then as soon as we get home, the transformation into monster. You start whining and asking -not nicely, btw- about ice pop, chocolate milk, honey (actually, boney) milk, candy, peanuts, chips, banana, and whatever else you can think of. If we give it to you, you scream “No!” and you push it away. We take it back and you ask for it again, crying. Total craziness. By the time a resemblance of dinner is on the table, the real tantrums start. Screams, kickings, “No, go away mama/papa!”, tears. We end up bringing you to your room until you calm down. Door closed. Eventually, you do calm down, and everything goes back to normal and you go back to be a normal child.

Last week you did;t skip one evening d then, of this crap. And then, Friday night we went out to eat, to celebrate my citizenship and dad’s new job, and you were good! So maybe you are just hungry when we get home? As much as I try, unless I get a magic wand I can get dinner ready immediately, but I’m trying.

The whole weekend you were pretty good, and Sunday night you were pretty much adorable. We were in bed and I was tired, laying next to you, and you gave me a kiss. Then another one. Then you started kissing me continuously, one little kiss after another, until I was giggling like a little girl! Then you stopped and asked me “Mamma, are you okaaaay?”. I was so in love with you! Right there and then, all the tantrums were forgotten. You have been good since Friday. Today is Tuesday, new tantrum, even though nothing of the craziness happened and you apologised right away. The reason, tonight, was your current rejection of the bath tub. You used to love it, now if we try to put you in, you go nuts, like we are trying to kill you. i don’t get it, you love the pool and the ocean, where does this terror come from?!??

You are talking quite well now, and you improve every day. Your face is also changing, you have a stinker face sometimes. You look at yourself in the mirror and make all kind of faces the you think I’m not looking. But I am, and it’s hard not to laugh. I think you are resembling less Dad now, but I don’t see more of me either.

Nevertheless, we love you to pieces! You are the best thing we’ve ever made, and can’t get enough of you and your smell and every little part of you is just pure perfection!



To remember

Dear Tristan,

you’ve learnt to blow your nose! Now when you need you just tap the tip of your nose with a finger and say “Nose” and expect somebody to come with a tissue, then you blow. Tonight you asked me “What’s happening to my nose?” and I was quite surprised.

The last few weeks you also take off your shoes and socks as soon as you get in the house, and bring your dirty socks in your hamper, saying “take off your shoes, or mommy angry”. That’s what dad told you once, it must have stuck.

Cute things you say: ‘nammy juice/nammy food”, “boney milk (honey milk)”. You can’t say the ‘s’ when at the end so instead of “Mommy’s” it becomes “Mummat”.

You stopped saying honey and you changed it to ‘boney”. There are a few others that I can’t think of.

You also started singing. The new school is going quite well (knock on wood!) and when I pick you up I put the disney soundtrack and as soon as Moana is on (How far I’ll go) we start singing and you know all the finals and you sing our loud! I so wish I could film you. Dad hasn’t had the pleasure to hear you yet.

You are becoming a little obsessed and won’t use a slide if it’s dirty, or won’t poop in the toilet if there is a hair in it. Or won’t wash your hand if there is a hair in the sink, you start whine “peeelooo, peelooo, yucky pelo!”. You are still mixing italian and english.

You know the numbers, but sometimes you mix them up. You know colors, animals, and A LOT of words. One night we took the 100 words book and you told them ALL. Some in english some in italian, but you didn’t skip one.

You are also sleeping with no pacifier at nap time at school. And getting rid of it here at night as well. But it takes much longer to fall asleep. Except tonight, you did quite well and didn’t even ask for it.

You are still cure as hell, and still have that baby cuteness that will be disappearing in the next few months. Not looking forward to it, even though every change is so awesome, I’m excited and sad at the same time 🙂



Proud as a peacock

Dear Tristan,

today is one of those days when I’m as proud as a peacock, and I’d be showing off my tail around all day.

Today was your first day at the new day care: because of Dad’s new job, and since they opened this new place 2 blocks from my office, we decided to make the move. I don’t like changes in your routine, just because I’m afraid they might be hard on you. But we also think of the best for you, and for our family, and this was it.

We’ve been telling you for a few days that we would be going to Bubbles school, and that you would have new teachers and friends, and today when we got there you were so excited! We went into the room and you politely said hello to Ms Stacey, then went around and started playing, with a nice curious smile. When I told you I would go to work and see you later, you didn’t even hear me.

When I picked you up, you hugged me and were fine, they told me you had been a role model, you played, ate, slept, never cried. I was so proud! We left while you were saying “byeeee” to the other kids. An angel!!

It’s been a tantrum phase and it was nice to see you being that good.

The hardest thing lately is that whenever you don’t get what you want or we don’t understand what you mean, you start saying “No mamma! go away!” which mostly is for my benefit (dad gets his “no, daddy!”, but I don’t think you’ve told him to go away yet), and if you know me at all you can guess how that hurts me. I learnt not to show how hurt I feel because with you it doesn’t work and it hurts even more, but tonight I told you “ok, if you want to be alone I’ll go away” and left you on your chair, alone. When you started whining I asked you if you wanted me to come back, and you said “Yes, mamma, come back!” and since then you’ve been adorable. You told me “Sit down, mama”, and insisted on eating on my lap. You were good at night time and let me rock you while telling you a story, then you fell asleep with your head on my leg.

Maybe tomorrow you’ll tell me “Go away again”, but maybe not, and even if you do, today was a good day, and I’m happy 🙂


proud mamma

2 years and 2 months

Dear Tristan,

it’s been so long I don’t even know where to start. From May till now, so much has happened, and at the same time it feels like it hasn’t happened much. I remember wanting to write about little things, and never finding the time, until the little things were past, and seemed too old to be written about, when there were new little things to talk about. And again, never the time.

I remember wanting to write about the trip to Italy, and how much you liked hanging out with nonna and nonna. Nonno started to bring you with in the garage to work out, and since then you kept repeating “up and down, nonno up and down” and imitating nonno while he was making an effort. In Italy, we left you for the first time, while daddy and I went to Florence for a couple of days. You were so good!

When we came back, you were so happy!

In Italy, you started to be a mommy’s boy. Maybe you can feel that i’m in my familiar environment and I feel more confident, and as a consequence you like me more. Who knows! I just know it felt very good 🙂

While in Italy, we also went to check a few houses, just to see what is available if we were to move.

When we came back, you were my little boy for a while, and I enjoyed every single moment of it. Then my business trip came, right at your birthday. I didn’t want to miss it, but had no choice, so I organised your birthday party 1 week earlier. I made you a 3 level Oreo cake, and it was a hoot! I was thinking it might be the last cake I can make you, before you start requesting something too difficult (storybots cake, Elmo cake, or who knows what you will want), so I put all myself into it.

The last week before leaving, it was hard for me. I kept feeling guilty about not being there, and being so far away for a whole week. I think you felt it too, and the mommy period was over. I wasn’t giving you a happy mom so how could you have felt happy with me? Grandma came to help out Dad, and you were so happy to have someone you only looked after you all day, and did anything you wanted! Like a dream come true.

Since then, not much really happened, except for the beginning of tantrums and hitting, more talking, more jumping, and more swimming.

You are pretty good in the water, we do lessons in Steve’s pool whenever possible and you can go ‘all the way down’ and do any kind of jumps: nanna jump, angry jump, ‘ohmygodImsoscared!’ jump, ballerina jump, back jump. You are such a trip!

You’ve been sick for a long time, a whole month. Not sleeping – it got worst then when you were a newborn, I swear-, not eating, a lot of crying, whining. Antibiotic twice, all the three of us. What a summer! Now it was finally over, and you’ve got a cold. Grrreat!

While you were sick, the first few nights you only wanted me to hold you (standing only, never sitting). As pleased as i was that you wanted me, I was exhausted and couldn’t help thinking ‘how the heck could we do this if we had another one sick at the same time?!?”. Still no answer to that.

During those nights, we also had to start discipline. You would be screaming or crying with no apparent reason, and we did;t know what to do anymore. Nothing seemed to make you feel better except if we did exactly what you wanted. A classic you wanted to do was opening the fridge and stand there in front of it staring at the inside. WTF! We did that a few times then realised you were just taking advantage of us, and that that couldn’t be making you feel better, so we stopped. You cried and cried and we started to tell you that you had to stay in your room until you stopped crying. Oh, it worked. We didn’t close the door or scream, we just told you that, and we would take you by the hand and bring you back anytime you would come out still crying, and sure enough, after a few times you would;t even come out of the room. Then you would stop crying, all of a sudden, come to us, say that you were all right and be a great little boy again.

When we did that during a day tantrum, because you were throwing food or toys, for example, after you calmed down you would explain what happened: “mamma no no no, my room close the door, no get out! stop cry sorry, all right!” (translation: when mum says no, and I do it anyway, I have to go in my room and close then door, and not get out until I stop crying, then I have to say sorry and it’s all all right!).

For me, I’ve never been so proud. I felt we were actually doing a good job. You are a very sensitive boy, I realise that. You can’t stand having one of us raising his voice or be mad at you. But you are also a kid, and something you just can’t help it, you have to push us.

You are also falling asleep every night in your new big bed! I take all the credit for this. While I was in China, Dad and grandma weren’t able/didn’t try hard enough to make you sleep in your bed, so you ended up in our bed again. All my effort, thrown in the garbage! But surprisingly enough, when I got back we built you the new big bed and we went back to our normal routine, and you fell asleep in your bed, with me next to you.

I was really hurt while being in China because it seemed you weren’t missing me at all. I know it wasn’t like that, and it was because you finally for the first time had 1 person who just stayed with you playing all the time, and you never get to enjoy that. When I’m home, I have to take care of the house, food, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning, and so on, besides staying with you. But now you had someone who only had to stay with you and entertain you. Of course you didn’t miss me!

I kept repeating that to myself, but still I felt hurt. Then, at the end of the week, a change. You were talking more at the phone, you wanted me to participate and didn’t want to hang up. I guess it finally got to you that I wasn’t there, and that you were missing me. Grandma said it was like you knew something was different, and didn’t like the change, but also couldn’t exactly figure it out.

Oh well.

Lately, you want to be my baby. You want to play baby making me hold you like a little baby, and hold you bottle, and rock you, and present to make you burp (and you also pretend to burp! LOL), I wonder why.

There isn’t one post in this blog that came out the way I wanted it. It’s because it’s never spontaneous, I don’t get to write when I’m inspired, so when I do it it’s more me trying to put anything that happened in the last few months to make sure I remember, than me telling you what I’m feeling at the moment.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

But I love you even more than last time I wrote, this thing keeps growing! My heart gets bigger by the day!


ps. Favorite show: Storybots, Moana

favorite things to do: swimming, help in the kitchen, clean, drawing

talking skills: pretty good, full sentences and sometimes big speech (of which only the general topic is understandable).

Passionate about: volcanos, honey.